Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
too bad you live with your parents still
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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