hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
