I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
