I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
