The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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