my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
