Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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