I wannas sexs uuuuu
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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