maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
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Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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