I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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