so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
