Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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