wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
