nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize