hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
