cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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