How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
