Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
