He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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