I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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