No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
