if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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