and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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