Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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