That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
