so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize