He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He did a backflip because drugs
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
