If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
