all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
