There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
