she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
