yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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