you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Text me some of your sweat
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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