I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am one with the molecules
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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