so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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