Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
