Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
