I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
soo... how was my night?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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