a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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