Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
