i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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