Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
