I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
