Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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