I think I died a long time ago.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
