Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
