he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
