and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I stole a fireplace last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize