Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then