you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo