haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.