Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
