i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
