I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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