butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
