i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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