Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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