I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
