when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
