Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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